Anna was in a mood the rest of the day. She’d forgotten her promise to work on the poetry essay, and when prompted about it she snapped back quite rudely. Eventually she receded from arguing – also because of the don’t-push-it kind of look in her mother’s eyes – and did write the essay, albeit dully.

In the evening she locked away in her bedroom playing The Sims 2 and listening to sad music. At night she even declined a bedtime spanking (it was one of the set rules: Anna could suggest a spanking that the adults could refuse, and they could offer their availability in case she decided to make use of it. Basically it had to start from her, but they could say no if they weren’t up to it: it had to be two-sided).

Anna didn’t have a set bedtime but usually turned around eleven. When the time came she wasn’t at all tired and still quite nervous.

After a good hour spent tossing and turning in the bed, she tried to read, but it didn’t work. Not even the familiar tingle down there was making her feel any better. Quite the contrary. She didn’t want to give in to it anyway. Frustrated, she rolled over and punched the pillow.

A few more minutes and she could stand it no longer. Eventually her hand sneaked down and she quickly drove herself to climax... but it was another downer. The relief was temporary and now she was even more aggravated.

Finally she stood and sauntered to her desk beneath the window. Her laptop computer was turned on at all times. She clicked her blog web page open and started writing.

TITLE: I’ve got what I want then why the hell am I so unhappy?
MOOD: frustrated.
MUSIC: ‘How Deep is Your Love’ by Take That... a reprise...

“I don’t think people ever really get what they want. Okay it’s because sometimes they want weird and impossible things, but not always. Often they want simple things and cant even get those. What I wanted was VERY tough to be had, and I still got it anyway. Then why the unhappiness...

Dunno. When I started to fantasise about spanking I thought I was a freak. Then things got better and I got spanked for real and exactly how I wanted it. Now honestly how many 13yos get that? That’s weird. I should be so happy for that.............. and still when I think about Ginny I feel bad.

I feel bad cos I feel good. I mean... come on. Read previous entries, it’s all their for you to read. Ginny is in half of my fantasies. Okay more than that. OKAY goddamnit it’s more like ALL of them. When I’m getting a spanking it’s her lap I’m across, and sometimes even when mum spanks I figure it’s Ginny. I try not to do that too much though because it gets me sooooo wet, like instantly, and I dont want mum to see that. Its not gross, just... well just not cool. Parents are a huge turn-off.

But thats not the end of it. When I think about having first kisses and stuff, it’s Ginny I’m kissing. NO WAIT A SECOND – I’M NOT A LESBIAN!... I like boys... just... I don’t know. Is it wrong to feel better when I’m with girls? Girls and women. They make me feel safer cos I know they won’t try to get in my pants or stick their fingers where they shouldn’t and all that. Okay they can too but you know. I don’t know, just feels safer and... warmer.

And what does this have to do with getting spanked?? Like, okay, I’m thinking of Ginny... we’re in her room or something and talking of this and that... part of me wants to hug her and maybe even kiss her, but part of me wants her to get all bossy on me and say things like “now your getting a spanking Anna Hartford! With your panties DOWN!”... and then I’m over her lap and she gives me a bare bummy and.... sighhh. It’s not the same when mum or dad do it. It’s cool but not that kind of cool.

And I don’t even want to do it to Ginny... that’s weird too. Maybe cos she’s so much taller than me and muscled and all that. It kinda feels... natural that I’m spanked rather than doing the spanking. I don’t know if that even makes since.

But...... last week I’ve read this story..... not with mum and dad, we don’t read all that much any-more. But I was reading this story and it was about this girl Jenny who has fantasies of getting spanked. The thing is, she does get spanked. Like a lot. From her father and he uses a belt and a hairbrush. OWW! I can’t stand the thought of being hit with a tool. But she must be nuts or something because sometimes she wants even more and misbehaves on purpose....... okay sometimes I want a stinger so bad too but that’s different. I don’t necessarily get off on it, but this Jenny does. She’s about my age and she masturbates like crazy. I mean that’s sick that you get totally hot cos your dad spanks you!

But maybe not that much. Anyway then she moves in with her uncle and it’s even worse because, you know, Young Uncle = major hottie. Guess what? He spanks her too (nooooo really??). They also get involved in other... ways... but I’m not going to go there. That’s just plain revolting.

Anyway that story was so particular because this girl Jenny obviously is a submissive. She wants to be spanked and that’s all, she doesn’t want to spank anyone. Okay her father’s spankings she must ac-cept it, but her uncle’s... she kinda chooses it. Her husband will spank her too. It’s weird because it’s what I feel too: I feel like I’ll always get spankings, doesn’t matter much who or how. Okay I lied it does matter... and I really prefer a girl to any guy... but that’s a detail. Or not?

Aww I’m not getting anywhere....... and I’m finally tired so I’ll try to sleep......... logging off.........

luv, An.”

As she lay in bed a few minutes later, Anna’s mind inevitably drifted back to the thought of Ginny. It was half sweet, half erotic, and 100% plain weird. She really didn’t know what to make of it. She needed her mother’s advice; she was the best at giving you insight or something.

Anna made a mental note to come up with the courage of asking, tomorrow, but even before it could register in her mind she was dead asleep.

– to be continued... –

This story does not necessarily represent the author’s point of view about anything. It is simply a work of fiction. The characters herein portrayed are invented and do not resemble reality to the best of the author’s knowledge. This account is entirely fictitious. Any similarities to other persons, living or deceased, is purely coincidental.

This story is written for the sane amusement of adult readers. It does not intend harm and does not promote violence of any kind, including spanking. No offence is meant to any group, ethnicity or individuals.

The author does in no way endorse the non-consensual disciplinary spanking of actual children and/or teenagers.

Copyright © 2005 Haley Brimley. Contact for information and/or feedback.